The Center for Soulful Presence

As a self proclaimed empath and highly sensitive person, I have met many challenges on the road in a less than sensitive world. My hope in sharing is so that others like myself do not feel so alone. The work that I do with my fellows is more about finding comfort in being seen by those that can. When an empath is properly mirrored and affirmed we stop blaming the “experiencer”. Like most empaths, we feel deeply and we feel what others are feeling in our bodies. Even if an empath struggles with embodiment due to trauma or over intellectualizing, there is still a visceral experience that can convince an uninformed empath that they are the problem.

One of the most common reports I hear from clients is that they tend to feel unseen, unheard, and misunderstood by those that they care for. Many, unfortunately, are surrounded by those that do not have the same sensibilities but tend to reap the benefits more from the empath’s presence. It is important to note, that not everyone can mirror an empath which is why these feelings are ever so prevalent. The good news is, that other empaths can mirror empaths like no other. To further support this notion, there are studies that correlate the amount of mirroring neurons to the ability to express accurate empathy. Perhaps, this would explain why graduates from my empath coursework report finally feeling a sense of connection with others that understand what it is like to feel more than one’s own senses.

An example of empath mirroring would be going to the grocery store and the person behind you in the check out line begins to tell you their life story and starts off by saying “I have no idea why I am telling you this…”.In addition, your friends and family seek counsel and comfort from you when they are struggling despite their inability to return the favor and you feel like you ought to start charging for services. This, in all sincerity, is partly why I chose to go back to grad school for counseling psychology as a second career.

For those that get to be in the presence of a mirroring empath gain access to seeing themselves in favorable light. This is why the troubled Narcissist who has no sense of self albeit grandiose in demeanor, loves the reflection they see in an uninformed empath’s rosy glasses. This natural optimism helps the empath to see the best in some of humanity’s most deeply wounded. Although this is not a crime in and of itself to love unconditionally, it proves to be quite problematic in an empath’s life when they find themselves in the dragon’s lair, fighting off the very beast they sought to love.

So what is a compassionate person to do? Do you continue to be the sacrificial lamb? Do you continue to put your emotional needs aside without reciprocity? I think not. The trick here is to remember that if you are in fact reflective and when you emit as strongly as you feel, you have the power illuminate. Please do not confuse this with codependent programming that purports you are here to fix or change anyone! This is merely to say that if you mirror what is already on the ground level, you too will become a doormat. With careful self reflection (and your own truama work), one can say the thing you never got to hear from those you so desperately seek affirmative from, only to find that you are the loving person you have been looking for all along. When you cease to engage in this dynamic, the other is left to their own devices to grow, struggle, and hopefully gain from their own ability to mirror themselves more accurately and if not, it cannot be helped.

Written by Stacey Cohen, MA, LPC

Like many others during this wild time in history, I have had plenty of time to go within and do some soul searching. As a self-proclaimed empath and intuitive, I have for the most part enjoyed my alone time to recharge my battery from a somewhat demanding work lifestyle. Although, this time around felt different. I sensed that I was gestating something new and a birth seems immanent.

Finally, after years of pitching my creativity workshops and self-healing mastery classes through art I see how things have finally come to fruition. Now that people are online all the time due to the pandemic and people are also working from home spending less time commuting to and from work, I see that there is a new piece missing from the fabric of life…fun! I have heard many clients shamefully express remorse if their life is ok during this time frame and keep their joy to themselves. I too have noticed the trend and after the no shame movement around mental health, it makes sense to proudly out one’s anxiety, depression, or neuro-divergent approach to life so as to dispel the stigma of mental health issues. Yet, what I see as a by-product and reaction to some publicly sharing issues on social media is that the topic of joy takes a backseat to the more adrenaline filled topics of mental illness and trauma.

With all of that said, when is it ok to to express happiness, joy, and fun when so many of us (if not all of us) are grieving the life we once lived?! The truth of the matter is that celebrating feel good is also honoring to those that have died or have fallen victim to financial or situational trauma of this past year and beyond. When we celebrate, we breathe life into the possibilities of a brighter tomorrow or even more importantly, the quality of our Now! When we laugh, we relax. When we relax, our nervous system gets out of flight, fight, freeze, or faun. When our nervous system is calm, we are able to think clearly in a grounded fashion. When we are able to think clearly, we are more creative. When we are more creative, we are open to learn and to co-create new possibilities for a new Earth. My invitation is to give yourself permission to feel happy even if others are not for everyone has a certain set of lessons to learn from their pain. It is not to say, that their pain is irrelevant. It is to say that their pain is an opportunity for new light and growth to come in. So isn’t that something to celebrate and find joy in?! There is so much growth and healing happening here on this planet. I give thanks for what is and welcome what has yet to be. Will you come play with me?

What: Spark Joy! Art Playtime Workshop for Adults

When: January, 15th, 2021 from 4 pm to 6 pm.

Where: Zoom online (you can purchase tickets online here on the Workshop and Class page.)

Best regards,

Stacey Cohen, MA, LPC

The Center for Soulful Presence works from the philosophy that when we open ourselves to what is Alive for us in the now, there is an entry point to healing. With all that has been going on in the world from a global pandemic, sociopolitical unrest, and widespread financial instability, it behooves the CFSP to shift and adapt to an online platform that can support the ongoing needs of the community effectively and safely.

This is the first time in the history of my work as a licensed therapist where my entire private practice is completely online. Fortunately, I have been offering online life coaching and psychotherapy for about 6 years now for those who were traveling, had transportation and/or mobility issues. and due to the occasional inclement weather. The experience is there and the unexpected changes are welcome.

As of a week ago, I have moved from Atlanta, Georgia to working out of my new home office in Savannah, GA. This new change is affording me access to the ocean front and a new landscape to explore. If you are in fact in or around the Savannah, GA area, please feel free to call me to schedule a healing session over the phone or online so that when things clear up, we can more than likely meet in person.

Best,

Stacey Cohen, MA, LPC