One of the joys of being an entrepreneur is being able to create my own content and offerings. As a therapist in a field that gives little support to those that help others, I have always wanted to create programs that facilitated healing for the people on the front lines in the mental health and helping professions. The irony of such a desire, is that many energetically sensitive healers, are resistant to getting their own help due to becoming slowly overtime, desensitized by the medical model that purports to be empirically tested and most effective. Granted, big pharma has banked on these statistics but the human need of autonomy may be dismissed. Ironically enough, there is also a shadow side to the healing profession that does not talk about the shame of seeking help as a therapist. The people you may be going to for help could see you as competition on one hand and on the other, may know someone who could potentially hire and refer you. Some of the thoughts a healer might experience might be, “what if they judge me for my dirty laundry?!” “What if they too discredit or minimize my abilities like everyone else has?”
I have always been a strong supporter of the belief that it is important to do your own inner work so that you can be a more effective therapist and coach. Yet, after years of firing many of the therapists I have worked with at some point or another, I had to dig deep to decide what was the truth of the matter. One reason, was that these well meaning therapists did not know what an empath was and had neglected to address this as a primary focus for healing. I was also not given tools for coping with large amounts of energy and emotion (energy in motion) coming at me from others. Most of the time, it was the symptoms that got all the spotlight at the expense of the “experiencer”.
Traditional individual psychology is based on individualism from a predominantly male North Eastern European background with heavy hitting players such as Freud, Fritz Pearls, and C.G, Jung that tells the “experiencer” that they are projecting rejected parts of themselves due to a lack of individuation. With much respect to the forefathers of my beloved profession, I call a bold order for reformation to update the data.
These types of theories are great for people who struggle with lack of responsibility, struggle with denial as a coping mechanism, and have a poor to low sense of self. People struggling with addiction and those with chronic depression, those stuck in learned hopelessness tend to benefit greatly from this work. However, for the empath, addictive behaviors are reported to stem from learned helplessness from lack of mirroring the energetically sensitive’s abilities and sensibilities. The contrary approach of projection only further traumatizes the empath who needs to be seen, acknowledged, and heard with affirming and non-judgmental eyes for once in their life. An empath’s ability to empathize other people’s struggle, demonstrates the existence of self and Higher Self within the empath. To the uninformed empath, knowing who’s pain they are feeling is paramount. What individualistic psychology does not account for is that the empath feels others people’s feelings inside their very own body which makes the multiplicity tough to address with single focused interventions.
As an avid attendee in the spirituality community, I started to develop some considerable disdain for a common statement that implied the nature of Unity in Consciousness. What I heard over and over again by what appeared to be well-meaning people as they deflected a compliment from another stating, “I am but a mere reflection of you!”. To be fair, I suspect that this false sense of humility is paved with “good” intent, all in the name of “Oneness.” A true paradoxical conundrum at best when trying to raise the frequency by sharing care, light, love, and acknowledgment that every soul needs to evolve. One of my favorite speakers and Love Revolution leaders, Matt Kahn shares that this mentality is like “spiritual narcissism” which I tend to agree with him on. Yet, if that is the case, then most people’s feelings get spiritually bi-passed and shut down when offering the love that the spirituality movement purports is about.
Most of the time when I was seeking emotional and energetic support in my history, I was told, you are smart enough, capable enough, strong enough, and wise enough. Yet, what was troubling me was never addressed. Granted, I too did not know what an empath was, with no understanding of this to share this crucial bit of information with my provider. Please know that I wanted to share what I was experiencing as an energetically sensitive person but felt I would be directed to someone who would dismiss my experience as delusional or minimize my feelings of overwhelm of other people’s energy as projections. This only furthered my healing journey and searched for a spec of common reflection. It was not until I started to take more time away from both of these communities did I start to feel the reprieve I was seeking. This, in fact, is how I came to develop the empath programs that I am now facilitating.
What most people in and out of the field do not know is that empaths are the greatest mirrors on the planet. Yup, you heard me right! I claimed my seat! We have an intrinsic internal mechanism (extra mirroring neurons) that has the ability to shine back on others their reflection of self. We are shiny and full of light so that people can see themselves more clearly. Hence, why true narcissists and people with personality disorders whose self is either non-existent or broken flock to us. As I continue facilitating groups for empaths and work individually with fellow sojourners, I continuously see the power of proper reflection and the gifts of positive unconditional regard. Those that do not have this trait, have little to no ability to do so because they will always benefit from an empaths light. What an empath needs is respite from being a helper with no return. Sacred reciprocity is one of my favorite terms that illuminates the phenomenon of getting empaths together in one place. No one person leaves empty or drained. We all drink from the well and leave full. This is the magic that I am hoping to offer to the healing communities at large. My hope is that my format and tools offered will be one of many formats in the future that continues to allow being a healer as a sustainable professional and avocational choice. I plan on doing this work for a very long time and wish the same for you if you so choose. Blessings and prosperity to you all.
Please stay tuned for more offerings for empaths, HSPs, and those on the neurodivergent spectrum!
Stacey Cohen, MA, LPC